So, I figure this is my last 2015 post, but honestly this blog is unscheduled and I post whenever I have something to say which is very unlike my totally mess-free life (sarcasm). But, hey, I have something to say.
2015 was a blur. It flew by, and I could divide it into thirds. First third would be January-February-March-April. And honestly those were really dark times. I was dealing with things I needed to get over that happened towards the end of 2014. I did make new friends though, so it was slowly building up to the second third, May-June-July-August, which were lovely. Despite everything that happened after those 4 months, I did quite enjoy them. I mean, besides the emotional happenings that rack my body freely and quite often, a lot of monumental stuff happened then. I turned 21, I cut my hair into a pixie cut, I graduated, got my first tattoo, moved out of Lebanon… basically a lot changed for me. Then September-October-November-December could be dissected into two parts, first would be uneventful, unemployed, permanently attached to the couch watching old series, and then it would employed, hating her job, permanently napping on the couch… so yeah.
But in all honesty, this year was kind of great. I won’t single anyone out, because then it’s just like “what about me??” And everyone who knows I love them knows I love them. It’s not a matter of saying a single person’s name. If I’ve said “I love you” to you during this year or the last, I probably still love you, unless you’ve done completely wrong by me and screwed me over and left me all alone in this world where I feel alone but I’m usually not because I have great friends. No, seriously, I have the best friends in the world and I should never feel alone because they’re always there for me. Friends of 2015 (aka friends I’ve known till now and made in 2015) thank you for dealing with my crazy and overemotional ways, thank you for loving me, thank you for sticking around, and thank you for being you. If it were not for you, I would not be me.
As for 2016, I have no New Year’s Resolution. I’m going to do something else instead. Each month, I will have at least 3 things I have to do in that month. And, because this is my blog and it’s called the experiences, I will share those 3 things with you at the beginning of each month and give progress reports during the month. Hopefully. I mean, it’s still gonna be a mess.
These 3 things can be everything from, “Learn to sleep without a night light,” to, “Join Ballroom dancing lessons.” Lately, I’ve just been feeling like I live a mundane life and I don’t want to feel that way anymore. I want to live and share my experiences and take advantage of my 2o’s. It’s not like I want to “party” more and get wasted and pretend to live my life to the fullest and get hangovers. No, even though if you want to do that, go wild, be my guest. It’s just that I don’t think that’s living life to the fullest.
Basically, I want more. And it’s not bad to want more. And it’s not bad to want to be happy. And it’s not bad to want to be happy by wanting more. What’s bad is to keep these sentences going.
No, seriously what’s bad is to just say things and not put action towards them. I deserve more. Everyone deserves more. But I think most of us are afraid to go out and get it. Unless it’s a terrible thing, go get your dream. My goal in life is to be an award-winning novelist, but I have small aspirations I’m going to work towards right now. Because I deserve it. I do.
Adios, 2015. May 2016 be a powerful successor to the ideas that were conceptualized (I’m loving that word) in your timeline. I’m just spouting random words. It’s 4:44 AM (oooh) and I’m gonna go to sleep. Goodnight!