Well, I’m currently working through my writer’s block, so bear with me.
Today, I’m going to talk about and outwardly appreciate my friends. Why? Because they deserve it.
To sum up, I’ve had some really crappy friendships, and really crappy friends to go along with them. People have judged, backstabbed and/or left me, and through it all I still trust wholeheartedly. Yes, I’m a fool. But for those who stayed by me, through my foolishness and stupidity, all I have to say to you is thank you.
We usually take our friends for granted, especially those we know will never leave us. However, the friends we’re afraid we’ll lose, we take extra special care with, make them feel loved and wanted, and never unwelcome into our open arms. Why? Why do we care so much? I’m writing from my personal experience, because so many people have left me, and I sometimes knew they would so I in turn held on as tight as I could. This made them push even further away, which made me feel (and I still do feel this way) like I pushed them away, like I was the problem.
And every time I’d make a new friend, I would trust them enough to share with them my insecurities, about how I have attachment and abandonment issues (which kind of go hand in hand) and they, at that point, would still like me and say, “No, of course it’s not you, you’re great.” That, however, would quickly turn to, “Of course it’s you, you drive people away, no wonder so many people have left you.” I’ve heard that so many times that I don’t even care if someone says it to me. But, I know that sometimes I do.
Those “friends” don’t deserve an appreciation post. If you have ever put a smile on my face repeatedly, made me feel worthwhile when I left low, and simply, stayed in my life out of free will… Thank you, this post is for you. You have no idea how much you all mean to me. I might have too many friends to call best friends, but you all are. I have been blessed with finding amazing people in this world, even if I had to search a little harder than most people. If I have shared secrets with you, and you have shared some with me as well, know that I consider you a respectable and honorable friend that I will cherish forever.
I know the world is filled with cruel people, and that some people just want to see that harshness in the world and don’t ever look for the light. I, too, tend to look for the darkness sometimes, but I have friends who force my eyes to the light, and because of you I know who I am, who I want to be, and that tomorrow will be an easier today.
I don’t have to mention them by name, I feel that’s kind of tacky. You know who you are.
I encourage everyone to just thank one of their friends today for being in their lives! Appreciate the friends who stayed, and don’t dwell on those who have left, they don’t deserve you!