Twenty-fifteen

First off, Merry Christmas and a happy new year to your and yours. I really hope it’s all been well so far and that 2015 will be a special year for you, as I plan for it to be a special year for me. I know we all wish for this year to be better than the last, and it’s usually always false, but I’m betting on myself this year. I’m injecting all the good karma I can into the world and if it repays me, fine. If not, I’m happy I could help someone else. Also, my favorite number is 15 and I really hope 15 likes me back!

Ok, I would like to apologize for not writing in a very long time, but, after all, it has been the holidays and before that I was stressed with exams and choir rehearsal and all these many busy body things and I actually haven’t had a chance to sit down and properly relax until now. And instead of that, here I am writing a blog post. So… dedication? I think so.

But anyway, I’m not giving myself any free passes. So because of this long hiatus, I will be writing a very long blog post for you today, and I will tell you someone about myself concerning the holidays (and very specifically these holidays) AND something I think is worth talking about. So, stick around!!

Christmas, New Years and everything in between.

So I landed in Dubai (where I’ve spent all my Christmases and 15 years of my 20 year old life) on the 24th, Christmas Eve. Now, to understand how weird this is, you must first understand my family. We’re all for Christmas Day and all, but Christmas Eve is the real celebration for us. We invite everyone we know over, and we buy presents for EVERYONE, and we have caterers, barmen, all these la-de-da things everywhere around us, and we also open presents on Christmas Eve at midnight. So I arrive, and quick-as-a-whip, I have to prepare things. My mother, being the supermom she is, is taking care of everything parents do (as is my dad). So what do I do? Well, every year, my brother and I prepare a concert for our guests. They’ve become a (tiresome) tradition over the years and while no one pays attention to us while we sing, they’d riot against us not having one. So we rehearse and rehearse till my voice is coarse. You see, I had just finished 2 Christmas choir concerts without ever being sick and skipping a single rehearsal since September of last year (2014). Everyone in choir had gotten sick, everyone. But not me, I was there every rehearsal, and there every concert. And after that, my immune system just wanted to take a break, just a small break. But, nope, Christmas Eve would not let it (And I still haven’t gotten sick by the way, touchwood) and so we had our performance. And, as fate would have it, our sound system was shit, and the music was louder than I was and… yup. That was Christmas Eve. Also, I had a bit of a sob fest because I felt all alone but I called my best friend (who also lives in the U.A.E) and I felt better and all that.

Now on to Christmas Day. Christmas Day is very important to us as well. For as long as I can remember, a more intimate (by intimate I mean 15 people because it’s only family but hey I’ve got a big family) gathering is held at the Marriott for their special Christmas Brunch. I love this day because we all get dressed up and we’re all happy and stress-free because x-mas eve is over. And damn, do the Marriott have good food. And this year I got to see one of my closest friends there (he’s 14 and more of a family friend) which wasn’t planned and it was amazing because truthfully I love him. I cannot spend more than 5 minutes with him without us laughing or creating a new inside joke. And that’s Christmas.

But is that the end of the family gatherings?
Oh, no no no, silly reader.
To take a count, over the course of 11 days (24th of December till Jan 3rd) I saw my big family 7 times. SEVEN.
And yes I love them and everything but… a girl needs this time to sleep and recover from university, people! Give a girl a break!

Anyway, New Year’s Eve started as a disaster. My hair wasn’t working, the outfit I picked was too dark for a New Year (yes I can be superficial) and everything was turning to shit but you’d be surprised that it all turned around and I had a fantastic New Year’s party spent with my (you guessed it!) family, and I laughed and danced till my sides/feet were sore. And as we counted down the seconds till the new year (twice because the DJ was early) I was all smiles and joyful. Hopefully, I will relive that feeling all through the new year.

Then, New Year’s Day happened, and I saw my family. Yeah. Want to know why? Because my uncle is born on the 1st of Jan. Happy Birthday to you, Khalo (Khalo is what you say to your uncle from your mom’s side of the family in arabic).

Anyway, enough of my endless family stories and shenanigans over the holidays. Let’s get down to business (to defeat the huns — if you get this, I love you).

Something happened to me today. I had been moping for quite a while about a person (let’s name this person X) walking out my life. And I would be really sad about it, my friends would try to cheer me up and I was really upset about the fact that X would not be part of 2015, while X was such a big part of 2014.

As luck would have it, X had decided to speak to me again today, and it brought happiness back into my life. Do you see my first mistake? I let it go as if bygones had been bygones. But this was wrong. I had thought about the minute X would rejoin my life and I thought I would handle it with grace and poise, and let X know what X did was wrong, and that X should really consider what X had done and think about whether X really wanted to come back into my life, or if X was just dicking around and would leave and soon as X pleased.
But no. I spent most of the day talking to X actually, reliving the joy I felt in X’s company, feeling happy that X had decided to talk to /me/ out of all people.

Friends, family, and readers I don’t know: Don’t let anyone take advantage of you this way. Don’t let anyone waltz into your life and waltz out without another word, to come and go as they please. Life, well… Life sucks, and it will push you around and kick you when you’re down. So you don’t need other people to come and do the same. You pick yourself up, you stand your ground and you make them listen. Make them remember you, and make them want — no NEED — to come back to you. And above all else, don’t sell yourself short.

Now X may not be a bad person. But, by not questioning the waltzing, I just let anyone back into my life, and it’s like I don’t really care about myself, or my heart or my health. People affect me too much, and if they do you as well, you shouldn’t be like me. I tend to help people without them asking for it, so if someone asks I will be there as soon as I possibly can. I enjoy helping people, because I enjoy making people smile or laugh, or just to get a bit of the light back in their eyes.

However, people see this as a sign of weakness, and those who know you well (not everyone) will use it to their advantage to reel you back in and make it seem like they never left. Like all is right with the world because you’re in their company again.

Don’t sell yourself short. Because you are bigger and stronger than you know. If they need you, they know where to find you. But as far as I’m concerned, we don’t need them.

‘Till next Saturday, faithful readers. Hope you enjoyed yourself this winter break (if you had one) and I will continue to write every Saturday from now on.

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