Ok… So where do I start? My name is Nour, I’m studying Journalism at the Lebanese American University in Beirut, and I’m hoping to graduate in Spring 2015. After that I plan to work for a year at a publishing house and then move to New York to study Creative Writing and hopefully get my masters. And after that… I guess I’ll figure it out. Life is not simple, and I know at 20, saying this is meaningless and “what do I know” and all that, but… well tough it’s my blog. Why I’m writing is because it’s important to keep writing, to keep a journal of some sort, even if it’s a public journal. Journals are how you keep ideas that are important to you, and online is how I make myself write. Someone’s gotta read it… right?
Life is not simple because well, first of all, there’s so many obstacles. People are obstacles, knowledge is an obstacle, location is an obstacle, relationships are obstacles and lastly, and probably the largest obstacle, is yourself. You are what’s keeping you back most of the time. You should fight for what you want.
I refused to fight with my mother to move to a University in the United Arab Emirates, which is where I lived for 15 years before moving to Lebanon in 2009 with half of my family. Even though I try to tell myself I fought, I didn’t try nearly as hard enough as I should’ve. And that’s when I was an obstacle to my own happiness.
Well, it was all downhill from there. Well, no, that’s not right, I haven’t been miserable for 5 years. Even though my mother was probably feeling Empty Nest Syndrome, she was right to keep my here.
I was not at all ready to live on my own, or (to be more factual) without my mother. Graduated at 17, (I’m a summer child) I didn’t know what to do at all. In fact, I’m still pretty much dependent on my mother in every way. But it’s my belief that once I’m detached, then I’ll learn. It’s a very spoiled way of thinking, sure. But I didn’t say that I wasn’t spoiled or that I was perfect.
For now? I’m just an obstacle to my own happiness.